Carol's Life Journey

发觉自己很恐怖！今天的讲道关于扫罗的一生，因为急躁、贪婪和嫉妒，导致这个以色列的第一个国王晚年悲惨，最后自杀。今天的道好像是上帝要告诉我一些话，无论是在家里、或是侍奉上。。。我和上帝的关系越来越远，好像越来越没力了。这次放假回来，感觉好像变得没有意义了，想要快点过去，可能是因为我对这个家失望了吧。老妈感觉像是在利用我，需要人家陪还是做什么事的时候才理你，真现实！少说话吧，就少被骂，反正我每次讲话几乎都被骂😩对呀，我也凭什么要求买电话、买电脑呢？我又不会撒娇、不会说话、只会惹人生气、又懒惰。。。。。。。。。。。。。。希望快点过去，到明年回来，因为你的回来已经没有任何意义了😑我讨厌whatsapp!讨厌messenger!讨厌人家找我！真的很想放下所有的职务，什么都不要做。。。。。。。。。 心很累！有一瞬间想什么事情都不管，只想逃避这一切。。。希望这种抒发压力的方法能够奏效。7月就这样完了，这个月只过得浑浑噩噩的，好像生活没了真正的目标。想到要处理这么多的事情，心就很累。。。

Florence was left UM yesterday.  I thought that it will just be a usual and normal farewell, but guess! I was feeling reluctant to part with her. She is indeed a good mentor to me especially in my serving in church and relationship with God.  I really thank God that He had sent her to be with us in KK9. Waiting to see her again in October. It was crazy that we were going to sing K during our exam.  It was first and last time Florence sing K at here, so I think it is worthy. And the result of sing K in the midnight was that I was having a severe headache. Hmmm.... Yesterday was driving me crazy. I still have a lot of topics haven't covered up but I was so call admired with my calm and steadiness that I can prepare my Computer Programming in the last minutes... It is really a bad habit. During Sunday night Peter CG Dinner, we share about the guys that we admired.  I say was him and another spiritual senior from Berea. Finally, I can say it out.  It was enoug...

I had lost almost 1/4 of my final marks for my ODE.  Blaming myself why I do not read through the question earlier though I knew that the questions will come out.Feeling down and sad. Pray that God will help me go out through this. Tomorrow still have a paper to go...The worst is that I haven't revised the paper for next week... Will be a hectic exam week... First time going Penang and also cross the Penang bridges, feeling amazing and excited. 去了这个圣经辅导后， 才知道原来并不是每间教会都是用圣经辅导，也看到教会现在已经渗入一些世俗心理学来解决问题。是否大家并未警醒呢？现今教会是否为了迎合会众的"口味"而忽略了圣经的全能性及全威性？这几天也学到了很多东西。在沟通处理的工作坊，让我想到当时那件事对我们整个家、爸爸、妈妈、甚至是我自己都带来了伤害。当我站在一方时，我未曾考虑过另一方的感受，而带来了伤害。很多时候我也在言语上无意或刻意对某些人造成了伤害而不自知，求主怜悯我，教导我要如何管教我的口舌，说出造就人的话，并且用爱心说诚实话。这三天两夜的圣经辅导营也对我带来了很多学习，更渴慕上帝的话语。求主继续带领我，让我能够把这次的学习分享出去，帮助更多人。

Today is the day after the CPR end. Though this is the first time I lead it, there were many emotions and feeling throughout this CPR. At first, it was really challenging to have it during study week, as this would be an uneasy and busy study week for me. At the moment I wrote this blog, I still haven't prepared for my final yet...Feel missing to the CPR, even we had had a marathon meeting for 3 days long, but thank God that we had a good fellowship and get well known to each other more. This morning received a message from Samuel about what he thought I was dissatisfied with him. But who know, actually both of us have the same feeling. I am thinking the same way as well, that he is not dissatisfied with me. Maybe I should be more tolerate to him, and think before I say, for what we say from our mouth must benefit the others. I really thank him for voicing it out. God knows what I am thinking and worry about. But I believe that in God I can do anything that He wants me to do for Hi...